Before my husband popped the question, we often discussed our expectations. We wanted to make sure we live the life we dream of and ultimately experience all we desire. We also wanted to grow our own family and give our children many opportunities to see the world, experience much and enjoy each day. To accomplish this, we understood that we must start our family on a solid foundation, which means that we have much to do and very little room for error. In effort to establish a solid foundation, we created a list of things we must accomplish before starting our family:
Complete Our College Education
Caring for a baby is hard enough, but to add college courses to your to-do list would not be an ideal situation. In my experience, time management was a necessary skill to master in juggling a full-time job with a full-time school schedule. I enjoyed school and I loved my job, which made the days bearable. However, too often, I worked on schoolwork well into the night and through the weekends only to wake very early the next day to go to work. It left little to no time for social engagements or extra time for me. I couldn’t imagine adding the task of caring for a child to the mix. I urge all to finish school before starting a family. In doing so, the parent and the child will be better for it; financially, physically and mentally.
Launch Our Careers
It is rare for people to remain in one place of work for more than five years at a time. After all, who wants to do the same thing day after day without the promise of advancement? That’s a death sentence if you ask me. Changing jobs doesn’t mean your career is at risk. For most, it means that more opportunities have come your way. My husband and I have accepted many opportunities and continue to seek more. Before starting a family we have decided to make sure we are in the careers of our choice as opposed to a “just for now” career. We have also decided to continue to place ourselves in the path of opportunities. It is important to be happy in your current career and look forward to continuous advancement over time. A happy career will help you feel confident about the responsibilities at home.
Reach Our Desired Income with Expectation to Increase Over Time
Living paycheck to paycheck would scare me. Not having the option to save each month would terrify me. Lack of funds to enjoy an occasional meal out or to attend a local event would depress me. If extra funds are not available now, before the baby arrives, it’s time to reevaluate the decision to have a baby. Above all, failure to put money aside each month for family emergencies is not the best situation. It’s no secret that children are expensive and they don’t get cheaper over time. Make sure your income is at the desired amount with expectations to increase.
Take Up a Hobby
My hubby and I have many hobbies. Some of which we invest much time in and some not so much. My husband graduated with a communications degree in graphic design and fine art photography during his bachelors program. His accomplishments as a photographer are noteworthy and well deserving. Over time, it has become his hobby and his way to disconnect himself from his work as a web developer. His recent work can be viewed on his site, www.adamdax.photography.
As for myself, I enjoy crocheting and sewing. Other than writing, it’s my time to focus on projects that others will enjoy. In fact, my work was recognized by some boutiques in Green Bay and is currently showcased and sold at a cute boutique called The Gift Itself.
My husband and I have hobbies that keep our creative mind working. Over time, we have found a way to establish passive income from our hobbies. I encourage all to do the same. If it’s not for the purpose of establishing an additional income, maybe invest time into something that will add value to your life in other ways; such as hiking, cycling, gourmet cooking, scrapbooking, or blogging.
Discuss How We Want to Raise Our Children
Raising a child requires parents to be on the same page. What one parent says, the other parent must back up and follow through. Without this union, the child will only become confused and manipulative. To add, parents must agree on how to educate, how to schedule the days, what to feed the child, etc. Don’t wait until the child arrives to find that you disagree on some important things. In the long run it will be better for you and the child.
Be Spontaneous
Before the baby arrives, you have many opportunities to be spontaneous. At the last minute, you can decide to go to a late night movie, stop by a friend’s house for drinks, or sleep in and decide to go out for brunch. Take advantage of it. Spontaneous moments will be few and far between when the baby arrives. My husband and I are planners; however, we like the option to alter our plans at the drop of a hat, but understand that we must enjoy it while we can before we have to factor in the cost and stress of finding a good baby-sitter.
Take At Least One Long and Relaxing Vacation
As most of you know, my husband and I love to travel. We enjoy seeing and experiencing new things and places. Before starting our family, we decided to take a few long trips to places on our bucket list. Of those trips, our favorite was our two week Disney cruise over the summer. We cruised from San Diego, through the Panama Canal and ended our trip in Port Canaveral where we spent time at Disney World and NASA. During our cruise, we stopped in Columbia, Cozumel and Playa Del Carmen. It was a romantic, relaxing and fantastic trip making us cruisers for life. We are defiantly looking forward to cruising with Disney when our children are old enough to enjoy and remember the experience. Our pre-family trips were unforgettable experiences that my husband and I shared together in selfish bliss. Remember, once the baby arrives, selfish moments are few and far between as it’s all about the baby.
Relocate to a Family-Friendly Destination
Take a look around your current home. Can you see your future children playing in the yard? Is there enough space in your home for your family? Do you feel safe in your neighborhood, town or state? Are there family-friendly things to do and see where you live? Are there positive influences around you? These are some things to think about prior to starting your family. My husband and I moved from San Diego, California to Green Bay, Wisconsin not long ago to establish our ideal home for our family. We felt that while San Diego is beautiful with much to do, we desired country living, seasonal changes, a friendly and close-nit town and many family activities that would eventually influence our children. Everyone has their own family-friendly ideal location; what’s yours?
Enjoy Date Nights and Sleep
Have fun dating your spouse. Choose one night each week that you and your man go out on the town or enjoy a dinner and a movie. Take advantage of this time while you don’t have to go through the headache of finding a reliable baby-sitter. Also, enjoy the extra time you have to sleep now. Don’t feel guilty sleeping in on the weekends. There will be limited opportunities to sleep in once the baby arrives.
Go On a Road Trip
Road trips will test your relationship. Why? Two people are trapped in a car for days, sleeping in one hotel after the other and eating take-out. However, I have to say that my husband and I have passed this test with flying colors. We have gone on many road trips to San Francisco, Green Bay, Chicago, Minneapolis, Montana, Yosemite… you get the picture. We can’t wait for our next trip. We decided that before starting a family, we need to go on some adventures that require us to pack a cooler and add many miles to the car traveling state to state to see some cool things. We used this time to talk, sing to the music, play games and simply hold each other’s hand for hours. Enjoy this time because the next road trip you take could include a baby in the back seat in need of a diaper change.
Buy Reliable and Family-Friendly Cars
Before you start your family, make sure that you have reliable cars with acceptable room to transport a baby and their luggage. Ensure that a stroller can fit in the back with all the groceries. Make sure that your car doors swing open wide enough to effortlessly install and take out car seats. The car must also be safe. After all, it will be caring precious cargo.
Go to Disneyland and Act like Kids
It’s easy to be a big kid at Disneyland; after all, it’s the happiest place on earth. Over Dave and Busters, it’s the only place I’m aware of where an adult can act like a kid and fit in just fine. When we lived in California, my husband and I purchased annual passes to Disneyland. We enjoyed the atmosphere so much that we made it a bi-weekly activity. Now that we live in the Midwest, we find ourselves missing Disneyland very much and looking forward to the opportunity to take our children to the park so that they too can experience Disney magic. I recommend going to Disneyland or Disney World a few times with your spouse prior to starting a family because the experience is much different when you explore the park without children. When Adam and I take our children to the Disney parks, we won’t feel the need or desire to experience the adult activities since we have been there and done that. Now, more than ever, we are looking forward to flying through the air on the Dumbo ride and discovering Neverland on the Peter Pan ride; rides meant for young children.
Get Rid of Clutter
We have officially de-cluttered our home. Over our two years of marriage, we have collected many knickknacks from trips, books, clothes, and useless items we thought we would use. Needless to say, we have discovered how much money we wasted in purchasing and hording such items and said our good-byes at the local Goodwill shop. Maintaining a simple home with limited “things” will help clear your mind. Above all, when the baby arrives, extra space is needed for all the necessary furniture, toys, clothes, etc.
Maintain Retirement Savings Plans
Start saving for your retirement now! Don’t wait. I’m sure you don’t want to work up to the day you die. Before adding the additional expense of starting a family, make sure you have retirement account(s) in place then factor in the added expense of children.
Set Up Life Insurance Plans
Unfortunate things happen and nobody is immune. Set up a life insurance plan for both of you to cover one another in the event that something may happen. Many find this topic uncomfortable and refuse to believe it is needed, but the sad truth is that you never know when you will have to endure the loss of a loved one leaving you much pain and financial loss.
Establish a 12 Month Emergency Fund
As previously discussed, unfortunate things happen. In this case, maybe the loss of a job, unexpected medical bills, car maintenance, etc. Life is jammed packed with unexpected events. Make sure you save for rainy days. Establish a savings account that will cover your expenses for 12 months. It will keep your mind at peace and rescue you from financial stress. This is not the kind of stress you want to take on when the baby arrives.
Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle
Your performance depends on your bodies overall health. If you plan on being a baby making machine, it’s time to assess your current health. A visit to my doctor helped me focus on some health issues that needed attention. While I am in great shape due to my approved diet and regular exercise, my body lacked a good amount of vitamin D since sunny days in Wisconsin are few and far between during the winter. My doctor also prescribed prenatal vitamins (to be taken well before making a baby) to take with an added dose of vitamin D. Make sure that you and your spouse are living a healthy lifestyle before the baby arrives. Tackle any unhealthy habits before you dive into baby-making mode. If you are a smoker, stop! If you use illegal substances, stop! If you drink alcohol often, decrease consumption and eventually stop. If you’re not at your ideal weight, make adjustments. Eating healthy doesn’t have to be boring and there are plenty of outdoor activities to enjoy.
Make Sure We Have a Great Medical Plan
While it’s the law that everyone has a medical plan in place, it is up to each individual to make sure that their plan is ideal for their situation. Before starting your family, make sure that you understand your plan and find it to be the best and affordable plan that meets your needs as expecting parents.
Our Pre-Family Checklist Is Complete
Now that we have crossed out all the items on our pre-family checklist, we feel confident that parenthood is our next big adventure. Sure, we will miss sleep, weekly date nights and long vacations but we have had our fun with just the two of us, now it’s time to have a blast with our own little family. Let the baby prep checklist begin.
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